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Saturday, 10 June 2017

On The Rocks, Please

Normally when I utter the phrase 'the rocks', it is proceeded by the request of a translucent alcoholic beverage and followed up with a disoriented scramble for a $10 note under the dim lighting of a neon bar sign.

Just kidding, I'm not a 55 year old male and therefore have never uttered that phrase publicly unless in serious jest.

Today is a rarity in which those two words are not synonymous with ice cubes.

Mornington /  The Rocks.

Blue-washed beach shack exteriors are adorned with prop-like seagulls, perched on crisp white trimmings to create a seaside aesthetic that screeeams Brighton, England.

This charming restaurant overlooks an overwhelming sheet of blue, festooned with quaintly-named boats and a splintered pier that props a trail of hopeful fishermen in the pursuit of their afternoon catch.

The open panes of glass create a lofty, breezy feel whilst ensuring that you are in VIP seats to carry out the all-important task of people-watching - one which I attend with more seriousness than my entire semester of university assignments combined.  

There is so much blue and white present in this little microcosm of Mornington that you might just start singing that one absolute gem of an Eiffel 65 song whilst strategising your nautical nod of an Insta.

I momentarily forgot it was Winter today until I mustered an order of a regular cappuccino instead of my signature iced latte.

I hope that by now you have googled Eiffel 65 and the penny has dropped. Enjoy having that play on a constant loop in your head for the next 24 hours. You are welcome.

P.S. Happy birthday to the Queen!!! What a babe! If it wasn't for that stylish lady, we wouldn't be out galavanting on our Saturdays and bypassing all errands/work/washing till the Sunday/Monday extension arrives.

Who am I kidding, I refuse to do anything until Tuesday dawns.

Have a good menu-scroll and a general stickybeak of The Rocks here. Happy dining.

Sunday, 28 May 2017

The Month That Was

 /  May. 

As the Kardashians gathered at a glorious Costa Rican spread in the recent instalment of KUWTK, each family member shared a 'pit' and a 'peak' of the feud-filled family holiday. I'd say my May went a similar way. From slothing it in the depths of the new Tonsillitis Recovery Unit (my bed) of my private ward (my home), to the launches of Melbourne's hottest new eateries, it's been a month of a whole lot of peaking and a respective amount of pit-ing. Call me a Kardashian, but I think I've got the hang of this dinner table tradition.

Sunday, 14 May 2017

TDE / The Daily Edited loot

If you're exceptionally good at losing your belongings or just yearn for the days when your mother would iron personalised labels onto your jumpers, this one's for you.

A well-seasoned cameo star on almost every Insta feed, I'm sure The Daily Edited are in no need of an introduction.

These monogram maniacs essentially emboss a variety of their leather goods with your very own initials, name, dog's name, or any combination of letters that your heart desires.

Sunday, 23 April 2017

Strawberry Picking

 /  Sunny Ridge Strawberry Farm

My Nana always used to sprinkle sugar on a bowl of strawberries. It was her dessert specialty. A snack that if you're good enough at self-deception, you can claim to be healthy. I eventually got into the habit of only eating strawberries doused in sucrose or sitting snug next to a heap of ice cream. If only I'd visited a strawberry farm sooner. Fresh off the vine, these strawbs taste better than any sugary-smothered diabetes-provoking dessert I have ever conjured. Sorry Nan.

Monday, 17 April 2017

A Day On the Vineyards

It's easy to get so caught up in the clamour and commotion of Melbourne city life that we forget what lies behind it all. Although it feels a little foreign at first being somewhere that isn't within a 10km radius of a particular set of golden arches, getting 'away' from the hustle can be exactly what the doctor ordered. That is, especially when hills are plentiful and you have eaten 82 too many easter eggs over the past few days. Flats at the ready.

Friday, 7 April 2017

The DKNY Cross Body that Stole my Heart

I've found the one. He's tall, dark and handsome. Absolutely strapping. 10/10 would throw over my shoulder.

I don't know what it is about handbags that can make sensible people have disastrous lapses in self control. This happened to me just the other day when I was strolling through the MYER accessories section on the hunt for some earrings. EARRINGS, dammit. However, in true Me fashion, I failed to enter the shopping centre and come out the other side with something that I actually intended to purchase.

Tuesday, 28 February 2017

Smashbox Photofinish Foundation Primer Light

"An award-winning oil-free primer that controls the look of shine and oil whilst extending the wear of your makeup. The revolutionary formula is infused with a blend of vitamins, peptides and antioxidants to absorb oil and mattify skin, whilst light diffusers minimise the appearance of imperfections." 

Is it a crime not to prime?

According to beauty extraordinaire, Napoleon Perdis, skipping the step of primer is akin to felony. If that's the case, I should have been locked up years ago. I'm not entirely sure if it's plain old laziness or a genuine disbelief in the results of priming. Maybe I just enjoy living life on the edge. Call me a fugitive, because I've been evading primer for as long as I can remember. 

Saturday, 25 February 2017

An Ode to Zoë Foster Blake | Amazinger Face

Ever scrunched your face up when trying to follow a smokey eye tutorial? Or maybe you've reached for a $3 packet of SmartSkin makeup remover wipes in lieu of a skincare routine?

Does the idea of a regimented production line of creams going on your face every morning and night make your head a little achey? 

Do you wear SPF in Winter?

What in the hell does 'spoolie' mean? 

HOW ON EARTH does one master the oxymoronic notion of a 'No Makeup, Makeup Look'?!

Phewph. Through the talisman of her peachy Beauty Bible, Amazinger Face, Zoë Foster Blake is here to help. I've had a pretty hefty and unapologetic Girl Crush on Zoë for a number of years now, and still remember devouring the OG Amazing Face on a Summer staycay devoid of wifi or television. I sat on the couch with that veritable beauty encyclopedia and a tub of ice cream. Within a wickedly funny sentence or two, I was besotted with this woman and how she made the hard and boring stuff (like sun protection and skin types) sound so fun and simple. What I lost in cardio fitness over those few days, I gained in juicy, honest, real-life advice. It felt like the most exclusive yet relatable insight into the minds of the beauty biz's elite. 

Sunday, 5 February 2017

The Crème de la Crème

"This is your cream dream-team reporting for duty."

Today we're talking creamy, dreamy cosmetics. A handful of the crème de la crème (otherwise known as the cream of the crop for those non-baguette-speeking duffers) are pictured in all of their sheeny glory above. Unlike powder products, anything with a cream texture will add some plumpness, dimension and va va voom to otherwise flat-looking skin. When you generally just can't be arsed with a windscreen wiper motion or are running hideously late to that monday morning meeting, it's time to call on these happy pots of goodness. This is your cream dream-team reporting for duty.

Saturday, 28 January 2017

A January Roundup

January. With it comes this intangible air of revival and rejuvenation. Not really in the trite 'new year, new you' sense, but more or less in this unanimous deep sigh that every holidayer releases as they dig out their deckchairs and daiquiris. What's more, the social calendar is bursting at the seems with summery staycations and sun-soaked events. It's been gruelling on the economic front. Just about every cent has been pried off me (see, this implies that it was against my own will - aka a really good way at disassociating yourself from all blame) by ridiculously good looking bartenders and ridiculously bad looking bouncers. Naturally, I'd join you in thinking 'how dare they!', but I've decided to deem January a 4-week-long free pass before the reality of the year ahead really kicks in.

Saturday, 10 December 2016

There's something about Byron Bay

Byron Bay; the place for boozy post-schooling stints, endless exploring and a lotta kebabs. Before you know it, you're ditching clothing for bikinis and shampoo for saltwater. You tell yourself that you are now a certified local after hiring a kitsch bike from the info centre and chucking your latest vintage clothing haul in the front basket. Can now confirm that all of the glorious stereotypes regarding this hippie haven are in fact true.

Byron has the propensity to convert the most urbane city-dwellers into crochet-clad nomads. I think that's what struck me the most. Salty shorelines, balcony bars and palm-tree pandemonium make it the perfect fuse between beach and social-scene. Waves from the main beach crawl up onto the nightlife of the bustling Hotel, the sand is sparsely illuminated by a panning beam from the nearby lighthouse, and the footpath spills onto the road to create a free-for-all walkway on the hazy pilgrimage home.

Saturday, 30 July 2016

Gotta Glow | Hourglass, Becca & More

Winter is all about the faux glow. Skin tends to take a turn for the insipid, dull and dry. That killer tan you'd achieved over January is long gone, and everything's starting to look a bit transparent and veiny. But don't you worry - here's a crop of sparkly things that will help you in the August pursuit of skin resurrection...

Friday, 22 July 2016

NARS Audacious Lipstick in Raquel

What do I love most in my peachy pink Mecca bag? A peachy pick lipstick purchase of course...

Sunday, 10 July 2016

About 18

It's one of the few nights of your life that silky sashes are a rite of passage, champagne is in absolute abundance and McDonald's is a mandatory menu component. 18. There's laughter, there's tears, and there's even new friendships made with your various uber drivers throughout the night (shoutout to Rob from the Netherlands and his ridiculous bass system). You're not even sure if it actually is night anymore. One glance at your phone through blurred double vision to just make out that it is in fact no longer your day of birth. Nevertheless, you keep dancing on that podium like you are  a backup for  JLO in a music video circa the early 00s. You scream 'I LOVE THIS SONG' at the commencement of

Saturday, 25 June 2016

Once You Go Scotch Tape, You'll Never Go Back

The cult winged liner can seem as easy as ABC until that second eye just doesn't seem to match up with the first one, and oh god no, did you just sneeze? You're dousing your eyes with copious amounts of Bioderma and mustering the patience to take it from the top. We've all been there. That's why I've got the oldest beauty hack in the book for you to have under your belt to achieve a clean flick, minus the mess.
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